A Lot Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a huge few days for homosexual-related very first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

Our very own first piece concerns you via xojane, the women’s site headed right up by Jane Pratt (my hero)

(i am significant) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part is part of the “it simply happened for me” function which existed at JANE magazine and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively interesting private encounters.

The anonymous author of this portion, just who I’ll call “Ariel,” is actually bisexual, but because she conveniently provides strike jobs to the woman male associates but does not day or usually drop on females, the woman is, she describes, commercially, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She in addition means herself as “mostly straight” and “straight” at some other things into the story.) Her reputation began, she describes, whenever her basic lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman college — went down on her behalf for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it and then straight away fled the scene fearing her very own incapacity to do these great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long period of time.

She produces:

“of course, word had gotten around that she and I also had installed which I’d remaining their clinging, which had the unusual effectation of providing me folk-heroine status. Kelly also known as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It was like some sort of flick conceit where the champion is actually seen erroneously as a celebrity and extends to ride in a limo and stay in an elegant hotel because of it.”

This evidently totally exercised inside her favor, as she romped about in university connecting with many “aggressive kinds whom had gotten off from the proven fact that I found myself reluctant to let a lady touch myself.” Post-college, she managed to move on to the net, in which she marketed her calm status and sometimes came across with girls for NSA gender.

Close to the conclusion she problematically clarifies that when hooking up with a lady she is perhaps not interested in, she just closes the woman eyes and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Often it may seem like she wishes women to consume her away just because they can be presumably much better at it than men are. She

could

go down on it but “I’m not online dating them, and I don’t think i’d want my personal fetish corrupted by looking after a person sufficient to hand back.”

I wouldnot need to sit near to Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided sexual activities tend to be consensual and she’s merely advising a genuine story of the woman existence, so I’m not really yes what you should label of this (and I’m curious to understand what you will be making from it, if everything).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Guys Venture
) we’ve got
I hitched a Lesbian (And I’m some guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes on the same brand of girl: the celebrity basketball member, the football forward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some just weren’t.” He questioned:

What is it that received me many times to women who were same-sex drawn? It certainly was not the stereotypical male dream as to what these were carrying out in bed, therefore certainly had nothing to do with a macho opinion that I could switch a gay girl directly.

In parts, the piece (which really does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me personally of your offer from

Girls Next Door

,
that we quoted in articles about female maleness
:

“…if we had in order to make one other generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that many you tend to be powerfully interested in women, homosexual or straight, breathtaking or otherwise not, whom seem as if they may be able take care of on their own.”

Mcdougal at some point marries a lesbian exactly who provided as right, and then he discovered their ensuing sex-life as unsatisfactory. She would not provide him hit tasks and didn’t like penetration but cheerfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their own sexless wedding concluded in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), they are apparently compassionate to their ex-wife’s strive versus labeling her as misleading (as many associated with the commenters carry out):

She had come from a traditional family who would currently profoundly embarrassed getting a homosexual kid. She may usually have identified, but did her far better cover it, maybe hoping that her emotions might transform. Or she might-have-been like more than a few females I’ve recognized, and only found her genuine sexual identity after already getting hitched to one.

What is actually redeeming concerning this article if you ask me that the author’s conception of his personal sex is mostly free from the standard masculine posturing one might count on in a bit like this (he even means himself as “femmy”). Perhaps it simply appears that means because males thus seldom write on hoping strong, sports, strong ladies with short-hair; but it’s refreshing nonetheless.

I don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their own stories, but it is really worth pointing out that both narratives frequently ride regarding idea that bedroom behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning signal” the guy missed, whenever entrance is actually scarcely a specifically heterosexual act (this indicates more inclined Courtney feared the intimacy of penetration with a man she did not truly want becoming with, yet , you never know) and slipping in love, eventually, concerns your vagina but it is in addition regarding your cardiovascular system and it is mostly about having romantic emotions. Those enchanting thoughts are just what transforms a hook-up union into a relationship, in the end.

At long last at

nerve.com

we’ve got a nice tale straight from pony’s mouth —
My First-time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I do believe this is the very first time the “First Time” series has actually featured a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to the woman closest friend that she had lesbian feelings on her behalf, along with her companion reciprocated, and proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian connection plus they are however with each other now and the woman is a grown-up for the army!

It seems they will have yet to just take their particular relationship from the cabinet, which will be a bit puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Looks like this story was actually authored before DADT was repealed, though it just got posted, thus you’ll find nothing puzzling occurring here. This is just straight-up nice in just about every method, unequivocally.]

The focus of the portion (basically really lovable and nice) is on the author’s finding of
exactly what lesbian sex is quite
:

We’d never ever come down on every various other, and I also was actually confident that is what we’d meant once we stated we wished to have intercourse. (today I recognize that there’s more to fucking than slurping a woman’s pussy and phoning it each day.)

She concludes:

I am aware that the majority of individuals differ regarding what virginity means to a homosexual girl, but virginity is very personal, also it actually is dependent on the person you’re inquiring. Many people might state penetration needs to be involved, but In my opinion its to the person dropping his / her virginity. If I feel like I missing my virginity, next goddammit, You will find!

I have invested all of the morning and afternoon staring at wordpress, racking your brains on just what point i possibly could make about some of these parts. I was thinking much about the reason we’d never ever release “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this subject website but cannot work through the explanation that I would worry 50 of you would vow to prevent go back right here and remaning many-thousands people would fight with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure till the heating death of the universe. I pictured some body distributing “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via email and then We thought the editorial meeting in which we’d get to that tale and all sorts of say “NO” concurrently.

In trying to find a spot to gleam from these stories, I’ve attempted to figure out what you might consider or say, and I also can’t, and I also like to complete this post today to improve the whole process of myself learning what you think about these tales. Yup, for the first time since that time beginning Autostraddle, I’ve had gotten not a clue what things to state about something. Very possibly i will merely ask you to answer — what exactly is your own response to these pieces?